If you dance, you must pay the fiddler, my maw used to say. I learned that lesson a long time ago, and no girl in the world has ever complained about my stinginess. But it's a different story with their boyfriends. I can spot a stingy guy at a glance. I can't always tell what he's capable of. This time I was unlucky. I was literally left with nothing. But my balls were empty, too. So, in a way, I'm still lucky…